Tears and Dreams
by incywincyspider
Summary: Losing someone and moving on seems impossibly hard, so does learning to trust someone or admitting your feelings. But are the consequences of not even harder to live with? Everyone deserves a happy ending. This isn't as sad as it sounds I promise.
1. Chapter 1

Okay well this is a long time coming I started it some time mid last year and forgot about it; but I finally finished it off. So I hope you enjoy it.

I do not own camp rock if so the sequel would be very different.

* * *

POV Mitchie

I sigh almost happily as sink I into my bed, pulling my doona tight around me. But 'almost' is the key word. I am never truly happy, not anymore, not after what happened. Now night time is as close as I get to happy because of the pills I have to take that to even get that.

I don't really like having to take pills all the time, and if you asked me if I would shove pills down my throat every night _before_ all of this had happened? I would have said no. I would have said something about doctors over prescribing anti-depressants and sleeping pills being stupid, but things change. Now I am scoffing down my pills like a good girl.

But as much as I hate it, I shudder to think of what my nights were like before the pills. After what happened I would wake every night screaming his name, crying, shaking and covered in a cold sweat. It would take hours to calm me down and stop the horrible feeling of sickness. Yes the pills were bad, but those nightmares were so much worse; they were so bad I was scared to sleep.

Now night time is peaceful. I can go to sleep calm, knowing that the dreams would come. Dreaming is the only good thing, the only time I'm not sad. Dreams have replaced the nightmares but as nice as they were they did come at a price.

Tomorrow I would pay for the happiness that I was about to feel, but for now – I didn't care, it was worth it. _I'm coming_ I think vaguely as I slip into the unconsciousness of sleep.

_Hug me tight, hold me close  
__And please say you'll never go  
__We'll stay here just hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_I'll close my eyes, make a wish  
__That things will stay just like this  
__Lets just stay here hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_I won't think about that day  
__When it all just fell away  
____I'll just stay here hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_I hear your voice, feel your touch  
__And for now it is enough  
__Just staying here hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_I sit here, watch the sky  
__In this place you never die  
____I just stay here hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_I feel the tears but will not cry  
__I'll pretend it's not a lie  
__So I can stay here hoping that tomorrow never comes_

_Beeep, beep, beep!_My alarm's shrieks wake me with a jolt. I look over to the time through my tear filled eyes, turning off the alarm. I roll over, curling into a ball and letting the sobs take over. The sobs wrack through my body, making my chest heave, my eyes sting and my throat ache.

This is the price I pay, the dreams heal my wounds for the night but come morning all they are ripped open again; stinging raw and fresh. The pain is like losing him all over again every morning but even so that little bit of happiness every night was all I really lived for.

After a while the tears subsided and rolling out of bed, I head for the shower. Fifteen minutes and a lot of scrubbing later and I look passably human.

Next I wander down to the kitchen, feeling hungry. I pause momentarily at the door as I see my mum's face half-hopeful, half-pitying. That is how she has looked at me ever since it happened.

I walk over to the bench and ponder how my day has panned out. I let out a little sigh; _my day has gone like it always pans out_.

_Every morning I wake up to the same old tears  
__After the same old dream  
__The dream that you are here_

_I can't help it though I know it's wrong  
__I should be moving on  
__I should be being strong_

_But how could I ever forget your face  
__Or forget your taste  
__It's burnt in my brain_

_And everyone still looks at me in that same old way  
__Just like they did that day  
__All waiting to see me break _

_So I hide out in my head  
__And imagine that you're not dead_

_And I know it lame  
__To pretend that everything's the same  
__But I know that it's the only way  
__Because without all that there is only pain_

Ewww! I'm snapped out of my daydreaming by something wet running over my hands. I look down to see the milk has over flown my bowl and is running all over the bench. _Great, this is just what I need_ I think sarcastically.

Well, nothing to do but clean it up and fast, the last thing I need is for my parents to think I am spacing out – even if it is true.

If my mum finds out it will be straight back to my shrink Dr. Jenkins. That is something I don't want, not at all. The only reason I have been trying to act so normal for the past month and a half is because I wanted to avoid _having_ to go back. All I want to do is sleep but instead I have been getting up, eating, going on walks and doing all sorts of stuff…trying to seem like I am getting over it.

Well, thinking about acting normal, I go and sit down to eat my breakfast. I'm spooning food into my mouth without tasting a single bit. I don't really taste anything anymore. I pretend to make faces at things I used to hate and I _yum_ and ask for more of the food I loved…but I don't enjoy _any_ of it.

When I eat it's just a show, when it is just me, alone, I don't eat. Not unless my stomach starts to growl. It's to stop from having to see Dr. Jenkins or "George" as he said to call him.

It's not that I don't like Dr. Jenkins…I _do _and he _is_ a nice guy and I _know_ he is only trying to help…

But having to spend day after day talking about what happened and how it has been affecting me isn't something I want to do. And even just the thought of talking about Shane makes my stomach crawl, makes bile rise in my throat.

"Oh, you were hungry! Would you like some more?" my mom asked eagerly as she walked back into the room, seeing my bowl empty.

"No, no," I say a little too quickly and her face falls. "It was great but I'm full! I couldn't eat another bite," I add with a fake smile. I watch as her face lights up again, not quite reaching her eyes as if she can tell I am faking but is fooling herself into thinking that I'm fine.

"So any plans today?" Mom asks hopefully as if her entire happiness depends on my response.

"Um not much..." I reply, trying to think of something. The truth is I had no plans but if I said that she would worry.

"I'm just going to the mall with Caitlyn," I lie, hoping that she will buy it and wondering how I will get Caitlyn to the mall.

"That sounds lovely. Do you need any money?" she asks, pulling out a $50 note. The sad thing is I think she would probably give me anything I asked for, that is how happy me doing something 'normal' makes her.

"Um, thanks mom," I say sheepishly. I feel bad about making her think everything is okay and giving her false hope but it is better for her this way. I know how desperate she is to have me happy like I used to be but I just don't know how to get back to that.

"Oh, is that the time? I have to go meet Caitlyn in five minutes." I fake, watching my mom lap it up. I grab my bag, going to leave and wanting to get out of here as fast as possible so I can just stop feeling guilty.

"Oh don't let me keep you. Remember to call if you need anything. OK? And say hi to Caitlyn for me," She gushes happily.

"I will!" I chirp whilst rushing out the door, knowing I wouldn't call. What ever happened I wouldn't call; I would just deal with it myself, pretending like everything's fine, just like always.

When I'm outside and a little way down the road I pull my phone out of my bag, grateful that I had remembered to bring it. I dial Caitlyn's number nervously, half hoping that she picks up and half hoping that she doesn't because I have _no idea_ what to say to her. It's not like I can just say _Hi, I know I haven't really called or talked to you much but why don't you randomly come with me to your most hated place on the planet now with _no _warning?_ Not exactly the most appealing invitation.

"Hello? Mitchie?" I hear Caitlyn ask uncertainly as she answers her phone.

"How… how are you?" she asks nervously and I can't blame her; I have been kind of reclusive and an emotional wreck.

"Hi, yeah, it's me. I'm okay, you know. I was just wondering if you wanted to do something?" I ask.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to the mall," I add, hoping this works as I really do want to see Caitlyn.

"Um, OK," She answers, still sounding like she has no idea what's happening. Well. if the suddenness of all this hadn't caught her off guard she probably would have protested about the mall…it used to take me _hours_ to get her to agree to go shopping, well unless we were going to get waffles.

"Cool. I'll meet you at your house in ten?" I ask more concordantly as the familiarity takes over and I remember all the times we've had conversations almost identical to this. Only with way more complaining from Caitlyn.

"Sound good, I'll see you then," She replies, still a little wary but sounding happy about the idea.

* * *

POV Caitlyn

"Cool. I'll meet you at your house in ten?" Mitchie says, sounding almost normal, almost like her old self. _No,_I catch my thoughts; I don't want to get my hopes up. I sigh, wishing for the billionth time that I have the old Mitchie back.

I groan at the thought of the mall but if it means spending time with Mitchie then I guess I can put up with it. I remember it would normally take hours of Mitchie nagging, pleading, ordering and even sometimes _begging_to get me to go to the mall. It isn't really as bad as all that. I mean I don't like the mall, but I always have fun there with Mitchie. Mostly I would complain so much because it was fun. It was almost a ritual back in the old days but Mitchie hasn't asked me to go the mall or called me at all for that matter in a long time.

I shake my head, trying to rid my head of sad thoughts. Mitchie is calling me now, that has to mean she's getting a little better. Doesn't it? Well, whatever means I guess I don't really have a choice but to go along with whatever she has planned as she is on her way.

I look at my phone, realising she will be here in a minute. I pull on a jacket and grab my things together, just managing to find my wallet in the bathroom cupboard as the door bell rings.

"Where is that bag?" I muse as I race down the stairs to the door. Puffing and slightly out of breath. My mum is actually right; I _do_need more exercise. I open the door to find a very amused Mitchie.

"Hi," I say, a tad unsure of what to do next. Do I invite her in or what?

"Hey, so I was thinking that we maybe head over now? Is that OK?" Mitchie suggests, obviously as confused as I am about how we go about this. I almost let out a sigh. How is it that after years of practically living at each others houses we are now acting as awkward as strangers?

_When I look into your eyes  
__I see that you're no longer there  
__My best friend gone with out a trace  
__I wonder if you even care_

_Where's that girl I know and love  
__The one who drags me to the mall  
__The one who dries up all my tears  
__Now who'll catch me when I fall?_

_Every now and then you glimmer  
__Just like you did before  
__But in a blink it's gone  
__And I'm left wanting more_

"That sounds good. Just let me get my bag, I know I left it somewhere. Do you want to come in and wait?" I ask carefully, suddenly aware of the fact that she hasn't been to my house since that horrible night six months ago. The night that she got the phone call, the one that said Shane was in hospital. The night I watched my best friend break.

"That would be…good." she agrees, but I can see her cringe and hesitate, balking slightly at the thought as if I had asked her to walk over hot coals not spend five minutes in my house. She is probably remembering that horrible night as well.

"You can just wait here; I'll just be a minute," I say, noticing her relief at not having to go into my room. But I can't blame her. It must be tainted so strongly in her eyes by the memories of that night. I couldn't sleep in there for weeks as at night all I could hear was the memory of her, of her cries.

I race up the stairs, trying to wrack my brains as to where that bag could be. I know it is in my room but that really isn't much help as my room could probably house a cow and I wouldn't know, let alone be able to find it.

Think, _think;_if I were a bag where would I be? Well, if I were a bag I would stay the hell away from Caitlyn Gellar aka bag loser slash destroyer. This happens to be my sixth bag in the past year.

"Ahhh! I have it," I exclaim with a yell after finally finding it under a bunch of new sound equipment. I give my room one last glance, promising myself for the trillionth time that I would clean it. I head down the stairs again with my stuff, almost tripping.

I'm about to tell Mitchie we could go when I see her looking at some pictures on the wall. One picture in particular. The one taken just before winter formal. The picture is of me, Mitchie, Mitchie's boyfriend Shane and Nate. We were all dressed up, girls in dresses and boys in tuxes. Mitchie picked my dress. I hated it. I thought it was way too frilly but Mitchie had insisted as in she had _forced_me into it by holding scissors against my new MIK(Mixed In Key**)** software. I had to admit we looked good.

I had begged Mom not to put that picture up after what happened. It was too painful to walk past every day and remember all that we lost. But now days I don't really notice it much. But looking at it and seeing how happy we all were it is impossible to imagine that in less than a week one of us would be lost forever and the rest of us would be left with a scar that never really goes away.

"Nice picture," Mitchie murmurs as she sees me, her voice filled with pain. I could see her eyes watering.

"Yeah it was a good night even if you did make me wear that train wreck you called a dress." I say, hoping to bring some humour into the conversation.

" It was a nice dress, everyone said so. There were also quite a few boys who couldn't keep their eyes off you even Na…." she trailed off as her teasing rounded the conversation back to uncomfortable silence.

"Well, we should probably get going if we want to make it to the mall for lunch before the teenybopper rush," I say, cringing, "If I have to hear another screaming thirteen year old yell about how she wants to marry Robert Pattinson I think I will puke."

"Good point," Mitchie says, laughing.

"So what do you want to eat?" I ask casually, hoping she will remember our tradition of going out for waffles as I really want some.

"Hmmm, ummm, let me see," she ponders, irritatingly dragging it out, "what about we go to Wally's Waffles?"

"That sounds perfect," I say, grinning back as she knows very well waffles are my favourites. OK, yes, my love of waffles may have started because I had a crush on one of the guys that worked at the waffle shack. But after going there every chance I could I really started liking waffles.

"Well stop standing there like an idiot and let's go," Mitchie teases, snapping me out of my day dream about….um, waffles.

* * *

AN hey well I hope you like it and I really hope you review (yep I know it can get old people always asking reviews) but it would mean heaps to me.

Anyway have a good day and stay safe. Oh and read chapter two if you want to know how it ends.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again. I am so happy, I am so Happy. Want to know why? Because you are reading this, yep it is all because of you.  
And people say one person can't make a difference. Anyway I won't keep you too long.

I do not own camp rock if I did there would be a bird house tangent(I love the word tangent) for sure.

* * *

POV Nate

"Hey dude, your girlfriend's here," Bob calls to me and not quietly or discreetly either. _Great_ I let out a groan, now everyone will be teasing me about my 'girlfriend'. I guess it wouldn't have been too bad if I actually had a girlfriend. But as I don't it would only serve as a very irritating reminder that no such girl existed.

"I don't think so, not unless people who don't exist have started to get cravings for waffles. Because I don't have a girlfriend," I try to explain for the thousandth time, not that I really expected it to get through.

"Aww, come on, you know that real cute brunette; the one that used to come in here like every day. The one you were so keen on that you kept getting yelled at for spending all your time staring at her. Not that I can blame you after seeing her at winter formal looking so damn fine," Bob teases.

"One, she is not my girlfriend and _two_ I did not spend all my time staring at her. I may have…just happened to look over at her a couple of times."

"A couple of times a minute you mean," Bob butts in teasingly.

"And _three,_ I don't ever want to hear you say the words _damn fine_ in relation to her ever again. If I do I will happily break you, and anything else I can reach," I continue darkly.

"Defensive much? And you say you don't like her. Man, whatever you say; _that_ reaction is not the reaction of a guy who just wants to be friends," Bob laughs, with a smirk forming on his face as I fall into his trap. "Oh and you should probably get over there as Lola just sat them in your section."

There she was sitting at the same table as the day she first came in here.

_

* * *

_

Flashback to the first time they met

"Hi," I say as I walk up to her; she has to be one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. "I'm server; I'll be your Nate I… I mean I'm Nate…I'll be your server," I stammer, my words stumbling out of my mouth as I get more and more flustered. Why do I always have to mess up in front of cute girls? But she just laughs.

"Hi, I'm Caitlyn," She says, still laughing and I notice how it makes her face light up intoxicatingly, making me blush all the deeper.

"So are you ready to order?" I inquire, trying to regain some of my professionalism. My cheeks are still burning in embarrassment and kind of ruining the effect however.

"Um, not yet, I'm waiting for someone," Caitlyn murmurs, looking at her watch. _Great, _she has a boyfriend. Well, what did I expect? How can she not? Girls that pretty just aren't single. What did I think that I could walk over here, make a joke and she would just fall in love with me?

I inwardly sigh. That's exactly what I had hoped. _Stupid, stupid Nate_ I mentally scold.

"Oh, okay then, will your boyfriend be long?" I question, kicking myself as the word spurts out of my mouth without my being able to help it. She flushes uncomfortably; making me mentally kick myself again. She can probably tell I'm jealous and that I like her.

"Actually my _friend_ is here and _she_ just walked in," Caitlyn mutters, a trace of irritation flickering in her voice as she makes sure to put emphasis on friend and she.

"Hi Caity, so sorry I'm late." The new girl says apologetically as she reaches the table, before turning to me. "Hi, I'm Mitchie, you must be Nate."

This sends my brain into confusion. I mean, how does she know my name?

"Your name tag and also I've heard about you from Shane, he recommended we eat here," She smiles, answering my un-asked question.

"Ahhh, so you're the fabled Mitchie. Shane talks about you almost incessantly. That _cloud_ looks like Mitchie, Mitchie said _this,_ and _that_ tree smells like Mitchie or I wonder if Mitchie would like _this_. He once went on about your eyes for four hours and that is time I'll never get back," I joke, but sadly every word is true. The way he talks about her I half expect her to have a halo.

"You think that's bad try listening to a five hour spiel about how great Shane's big toe is, I now have nightmares," Caitlyn counters, laughing, and I have to admit she really does have me.

"It wasn't that long," Mitchie bites back indignantly, embarrassment undercoating her words at the thought of Shane hearing about it.

"It was long enough and his big toe, really Mitchie, _really?_" Caitlyn teases, playfully.

"So what would you like to order?" I ask, realising that I have been there way too long already.

"Oh I'll have…the apple and cinnamon waffles thank you," Mitchie requests, thoughtfully.

"And to drink?" I ask, finding it amusing that she has been so focused on what to order she has forgotten to pick a drink.

"Umm, a lemonade spider please?" she answers hesitantly, caught off guard by the sudden need for a choice.

"Good choice, and for you?" I direct this one at Caitlyn as she scans the menu, her nose scrunching up adorably in concentration. Obviously not having put any prior thought towards what to eat.

"Umm, I'll have the buttermilk pancakes with lemon and sugar." Caitlyn states after a long pause.

"Really?" the words burst out of my mouth before I can stop myself as she orders the most boring item on the menu.

"Oh ,then what do you think I should have then?" There's sarcasm lacing her voice, her anger practically dripping out of her mouth and making me wince; not only do I make a fool of myself, I manage to piss her off.

"Hmmm, I think you should have the chocolate honey with a banberry smoothie," I reply smugly, knowing she probably wouldn't be able to resist my personal favorite aka _the_ best thing on the menu.

"Oh, well… that does sound yummy. Okay, I'll have that then, you are the expert after all," Caitlyn relents, appeased slightly.

"Wow, what an excellent choice, you really do have _exceptional_ taste indeed," I can't help but tease.

* * *

I laugh to myself; in the year and a half since she first came in here Caitlyn hadn't once changed her order from the _choc-honey with a banberry smoothie_ that I had suggested.

Walking over to the table, I feel a twinge of worry spasm through my body. I haven't seen Mitchie or Caitlyn since the funeral, almost six months ago. I can't face either of them. I blame myself because I was there. I was there when it happened but I didn't, I _couldn't _help. I know now I couldn't have done anything, but back then ….. I _hated_ my self.

I gulp before walking up to their table.

"Excuse me," I interrupt, "hi I'm Nate, I'll be your server today, is there anything I can get you?"

I'm trying to be professional but it's making Caitlyn roll her eyes at me.

"Well, I'll have the usual, chocolate honey waffles with a banberry smoothie," Caitlyn orders with a smirk.

I look over to Mitchie as she examines the menu, noticing how pale and thin she looks. But at least she's a little more alive than she looked last time I saw her.

"And I'll have hazelnut praline crepes with chocolate sauce and a banana milkshake," Mitchie orders thoughtfully, a ghost of a smile playing on her face.

"Both very good choices," I comment, unable to keep from smiling; Mitchie always orders interesting things.

"Why thank you, a very conceited waiter once suggested it," Caitlyn adds teasingly, dispelling the slight awkwardness that had been hanging in the air. "So what have you been up to?" She adds curiously.

"Um, well not much really. Mostly work really," I reply honestly, carefully leaving out the part where when I wasn't working or missing my dead best friend…I was generally thing thinking about her. _That_ I didn't think she needed to know.

"Ah yes Nate the great workaholic. So do you ever leave this place?" Caitlyn asks playfully, earning a laugh from Mitchie.

"Well actually miss-know-it-all, I leave when my shift finishes in an hour and a half I will be out of here." I counter.

"Hey Nate, you should probably get going – _if you don't want Brown to kick your ass again that is_," Lola whispers to me as she walks past to seat a couple across the room. "_Oh and your girlfriend is _real cute," she adds even quieter, making my cheeks blush scarlet.

"S..sorry guys but duty calls, I'll have those drinks for you soon," I explain before hurrying off with my cheeks still flaming.

"Dude, whatever you say about her not being your girlfriend; she is totally into you. If I were you, and the pretty girl _I_ was crushing on liked me … well let's just say I wouldn't be over here talking to me. But that's just me, if you know what I mean," Bob rambles as soon as I get behind the counter.

"Well I'm not you and she isn't 'into me' as you put it, so just drop it ok?" I snap, handing him the drink orders.

"Banberry? Isn't that what you always order?" Bob asks, trying to control his laughter. "And you're still trying to tell me there isn't anything going on, that is _too_ rich."

"Just shut it and make the drink orders," I growl, wondering why I'm even friends with him.

"Man, you really do have it bad for this chick," He laughs as I walk through the doors to the kitchen.

"Hey Nate, I hear your girlfriend is here," Brown mocks, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"She is _not _my girlfriend!" I repeat, my teeth gritting for what feels like the thousandth time as I hand him the orders.

"Uha, that's what they all say, but just remember to keep your mind on the job," Brown advises, switching back into boss mode.

"Oh, hey Nate; I just saw your girlfriend," Lola points her out.

"She seems really nice, and cute too!" Dee interrupts as she walks in, probably just getting off her break.

"She isn't my girlfriend," I mutter, knowing now that she has the idea in her mind no amount of arguing will change it.

"That's not what your cheeks say," Dee teases, pointing at my now beet red face.

Turning to walk out the door, I curse how easily I blush.

"Did you tell every one that she is 'my girlfriend'?" I growl accusingly at Bob as soon as I reach the bar.

"No, just Brown, oh and Lola," Bob answers casually, unfazed by my bad mood.

"And Lola just told Dee, so now _everyone_ will know," I cringe at the thought. "And what's worse it isn't even true so when people start asking about it I'm going to sound pathetic when I say that. Or what if people ask _her_; she'll think I'm some deranged obsessive stalker or something!" I say in a bit of a rush, starting to really freak at the thought because if she did hear about it any chance of _actually going out with her_ would die immediately.

"OK, calm down, here is what we are going to do; you are going to take over their drinks, be your charming self and act like nothing is going on. And if anyone says anything, I'll say it was some kind of prank on Brown or something. OK?" Bob explains calmly.

"Thanks," I say, taking the drinks and walking over to the table, noticing that, oddly, Caitlyn isn't there.

"Here are your drinks, one banana milkshake and one banberry smoothie," I say, putting the drinks on the table.

"Great, these look delicious. Oh, and Caitlyn's just gone to the bathroom," Mitchie adds with a knowing smile; once again using her uncanny ability to answer unasked questions.

"I-I didn't even notice," I lie awkwardly, watching an unconvinced smile breaking out on Mitchie's face.

"Mmhmm, whatever. Hey, what's up? You seem really mad," She asks, concern playing across her face.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm not mad. Why would I be mad?" I splutter, obviously not convincing her if the look on her face is anything to go by. "Okay, it's just there is this guy that has got it into his head that Caitlyn is my girlfriend. Then he told a few people, and now, just about the _entire staff_ thinks we're dating," I admit, finishing with a sigh.

"Wow. How much are they teasing you?" she asks, unable to completely hide her amusement at my predicament.

"Not much really…well, OK, _a lot_. But that isn't what's really worrying it's just…" I trail off, not knowing how to explain the real problem.

"It's that you're worried Caitlyn will find out and get the wrong idea. That she'll think you're spreading the lie, a very odd lie it is too. And what she'll think is that you're either pathetic or worse and more likely that you are making a fool of her again," Mitchie finishes with a sigh.

"Yep, that pretty much sums it up," I say with a sigh; hearing it all spread out like that is not making me feel any better, in fact it's having the opposite effect. "You know how long it took her to forgive me for the last time and _that_ she put down to pity, so this… well, I'll probably be on my death bed before she forgives me," I put my fears out in the open.

"You should just talk to her. You like her, right?" Mitchie asks, making me stammer. "So if you talk to her, who knows, maybe she'll surprise you."

"What, just tell her? Yeah, right, because that worked _so well_ last time. After what happened at formal she made it crystal clear that she didn't want anything like _that _from me," bitterness makes my words sharper than I like.

"Nate, you know why she was so mad. You hurt her, bad. She wanted exactly that sort of thing from you. But when you told her she thought it was some kind of joke or pity, some kind of favor to Shane. You know, 'make the girlfriend's best friend happy'. Yes, I _know_, that wasn't true. Stop looking at me like that. I even tried to tell her how wrong she was but nothing I, or anyone else tried to tell her, could change her mind. When I told her what I thought she said it couldn't be true and that her way made more sense then a 'guy like you' actually liking her. So, you see; _you _have to tell her," Mitchie explains.

"Yes, because the fact that she can't imagine me actually liking her is a great reason to profess my love to her," I retort sarcastically.

"No, but the reason why she can't imagine it is," She suggests smugly.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I shake my head, confused.

"Why didn't you just ask her to go out with you instead of lying? Why not tell her you like her? Why? Well, because you were scared, scared she would say no and maybe even because you couldn't imagine her liking you back. Why is that?" She finishes with a knowing smile.

Her speech hit me, making my brain rush at a million miles an hour, so many thoughts going through my mind in so little time. Why didn't I think she would say yes? Why couldn't I imagine her liking me?

Simple; because I like her, I like her _so_ much. To me it makes no sense that someone as _amazing_ and _perfect_ as she is – would like dorky guy like me. My mouth falls open, dumbstruck. If what Mitchie is suggesting is true then maybe, just maybe, she is right. Maybe I _should_ talk to her, but what will I say?

"Hey guys, what'd I miss? You would not believe the line for the bathroom," Caitlyn bounces over, chattering and breaking my line of thought.

"Oh, nothing really, just saying to Mitchie how… how good it is to see her. It really has been too long," I ramble back.

"Yes, in fact, he was just saying that we should have one of those movie nights we always used to have," Mitchie adds with a smile, almost hiding the way her face twitched sadly as the memories of all the movie nights we used to have at Shane's swept over her.

"Um, yes, we really must but I kind of need to get back to work now so maybe later we can organize it?" I say, remembering where we are and how much I need this job.

"Oh yes, of course, we don't want you to get in trouble but I was thinking maybe tomorrow night, your place? Is that okay?" Mitchie suggests, grinning as her plan closes in around me. "What do you think, Caitlyn?"

"That sounds great. Hey, I think the movie hire place has a special Tuesday offer. So we could get them after this?" Caitlyn suggests to Mitchie.

"That sounds good; I'll see you to around six pm tomorrow?" I say, trying to get out of there before I get hooked into anything else, like my own _wedding_ maybe, considering the way Mitchie's mind seems to be working. But I don't know, somehow this plotting has managed to make her feel better, judging by the way she looks.

"Six pm sounds good, well I'll have to ask my Mom but she won't mind but speaking of Moms…I promised mine I would get back early; I can't go get DVDs with you Caity, but Nate, didn't you say you get off soon? You could go with Caitlyn, couldn't you?" Mitchie suggests cunningly.

"Um, well, I guess so. I get off at two, if that's okay?" I concede, unable to outplay Mitchie's plotting.

* * *

"So … um, what kind of movies were you thinking?" I say to Caitlyn as we walk in to the DVD store. My palms practically dripping I am so nervous.

"Um I don't know a comedy maybe, I hear the new camp rock movie is out." Caitlyn suggested.

"Um, no thanks, I mean the first one was enough. And the second one is trying to be all 'Romeo and Juliet'. Anyway, the youngest one was totally meant to be with the best friend so who's this new chick? _Blahh_. Disney can't leave well enough alone. I mean, look what they did to High School Musical," I rant, unable to stop my self.

OK, I mean, Lola just leaves her magazines around. It's hard not to read them.

"OK tiger, chill. What about the Wizards of Waverly place movie? Oooo and oh my god we _have_ to watch the Lizzie McGuire movie. It's a classic," Caitlyn cries happily. Bouncing up and down at the sight of her old favorite movie.

"Oooo what about this?" I ask, holding up the Rugrats in Paris movie.

"Ok, lol, it'll be 'hey remember when this was cool' movie night," She replies excitedly.

"Hey, rugrats is still cool. I mean come on Tommy is da _bomb_."

"Da bomb? Really Nate really? I swear if you say dawg, rad or flava I am so out of here," She threatens with a laugh.

"Awwww my bad," I joke back.

"Hey, talk to the hand," she retorts.

"Come on don't have a cow man," I add making us both break out laughing.

"This is….. fun. I miss just hanging out like this," Caitlyn comments after we regain some composure.

"Yeah, I missed this too, I….. I missed you," I admit, taking Mitchie's advice and just being honest.

"Mhmmm yeah," she replies, turning away.

"No wait and listen. OK?" I say, grabbing her.

"No, Nate, _you_ listen. I am not going to do this. I am not going to stand here while you make me fall for you for whatever reason and then just mess with my head. _Not again_. So just leave it 'cause I'm not playing," Caitlyn snaps, tears welling in her eyes.

"Naha not this time, this time you will hear me out. Yes, I lied to you. I didn't ask you to go to formal with me because I hadn't been asked, I had OK? I had been asked to go by heaps of girls, but I turned them all down. I turned them down because there was this other girl I wanted to go with, one who I was too scared to ask out so instead I told a stupid lie and asked her to go with me as _friends_. Only to have my stupid-ness bite me on the bum when I finally get the courage to tell the most _amazing girl_ how I feel," I say in a rush. "Now do you get it?"

"But what about what Tess said?" she asks timidly, not quite ready to believe me.

"Tess is a bitch, she asked me out and I said no. She was jealous; she would have said anything to get back at me," I reply simply.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen. I …. Well it just never really felt real so it seemed to make more sense. So what happens now?" She asks curiously.

"Well I think now we…" I reply wrapping my arms around her and leaning in. "go some where else, somewhere without on audience." I pull away after realizing almost the whole store is standing there watching us.

"Oh my, that's embarrassing," she starts with a laugh, "but we can't leave then hanging, can we?"

She pulls me in for a kiss.

* * *

Hey you made it. Okay it's not the best end but anyway. I had fun writing the bits where they are joking around. Well that's the end kind of I felt bad about the fact that nothing really got finalized for Mitchie. So I have been toying around with writing another little bit to put on the end but I won't do so unless some one asks me to. So if you want a little more review and ask.

Finally I have to say it was fun writing this. I really hope at least some one enjoys it(as I did put a fair bit of work into it). thank you for reading this(and hopefully reviewing) have a good day and stay safe(I hate the idea of people getting hurt).


	3. The End

Well this is the end. This is for dizprincess77 who asked for more. Thanks to my lovely beta and best friend Pinkamoo. I hope you all like it.

* * *

I sigh looking around my room; it looks neat, bare even, it doesn't't look like anyone lives here. I wonder why I haven't seen it before. It almost makes me laugh when I think of why. How could I see it? It's true I haven't been living here; I've been living in my head, living with Shane.

But I guess that has to change. I sigh again and walk over to my closet, my resolve wavering. I made up my mind on the way home. It's time.

I open my closet and reach behind my clothes. It's still there, still wrapped things don't just disappear because you refuse to think of them. I pull it out and look at the shiny wrapping paper.

The last present Shane got me, he must have got it some time just before he… died… my last birthday present. His parents found it in his room when they were cleaning it out. I couldn't bear to open it, to even look at it hurt – but how I could throw it away?

The last piece of Shane I had, no, I _had_ to keep it. I just had to hide it and pretend it wasn't there.

But now I have to open it. If I don't things won't change and I can't stay here pretending the world doesn't exist, not anymore.

I brace myself as I pick away at the tape and slowly pull away the paper.

Inside is a music box, made of wood and silver a simple pattern of leaves carved around the sides. It's beautiful; a tear escapes my eyes as I trace the leaves, the wood smooth against my finger tips, my hand resting on the handle.

Turning it round a couple of times, I open the lid. Tears well up as I hear the song _Once Upon a December_ my favourite song from Anastasia.

As I listen to the music I can't help but remember that horrible night, and that phone call.

* * *

"So did Shane give you any hint about what he was going to get you for your birthday?" Caitlyn asks curiously.

"No, he only said that I would love it," I reply, frustrated, patience may be a virtue but it's one I don't have.

"Well at least that's something. I mean if he says you'll love it that pretty much guaranties you will," Caitlyn tries to reassure me.

My ring tone fills the room, startling us.

"Hey, that'll be him now. Try to keep it under five hours this time," Caitlyn teases.

"Mitchie? It's Shane he's….he's been hurt. He's in the hospital now," Nate sobs. "It was horrible, they were dragging her and she didn't want to go. Shane tried to help but… but there were too many. I...I couldn't do anything and… and then he pulled a knife! I couldn't help! I just couldn't do anything, they were holding me. Oh, Mitchie, it was _horrible_; you have to come," Nate continues, not making sense but I'm not really hearing him anyway.

"Mitchie, Mitchie what's wrong?" Caitlyn called.

"It's Shane he's in the hospital, Nate's with him he said I should go. I… I should go?" I ramble.

* * *

I gasp for breath as the sobs shake me. The pain hitting me, suddenly fresh again, as I remember. Caitlyn had driven me to the hospital there we cried; Nate, Caitlyn and I. we cried as our friend slowly slipped away from the world. The girl, the one he saved, she was there too for a while.

We cried but it hadn't sunk in, it wasn't real. Not when the doctors told us or when we heard his mothers desperate wails. It wasn't until we were lead shaking and sobbing into his room, until we saw him and he was so white and blank he didn't look like himself –

_Then_ it was real. Only then did I really realise he would never hold me, or speak to me, only then did I really cry.

The girl was there again at the funeral, she spoke about what happened. She spoke of how Shane had saved her when everyone else held their heads down and pretended it wasn't happening, pretended she somehow deserved what was happening.

She spoke, and I felt proud.

As Shane and Nate were walking along they saw her being dragged into an ally. Shane tried to fight but he was knocked down. They held Nate back as they kicked Shane over and over. Then as Shane tried to stand up one of them pulled a knife pulled and stabbed him.

They ran away as the screech of sirens sounded, just minutes too late.

That was the story she told, and as she spoke: everyone cried.

I shake my head and wipe away my tears. I place the music box aside and pick up the crinkled letter underneath. As I open it I see Shane's messy scrawl covering the page.

I take a deep breath to prepare myself before beginning to read.

_Hey Mitchie,_

_Not quite sure of how to say all that I want to say. But here goes anyway. Happy birthday I hope it as amazing as you dreamed it would be and I know even if it isn't you'll make it work. You always make the most of everything that is one of the things I love most about you. I just know what ever happens you'll be able to handle it. You're always the strong one. _

_I wanted (well want) to tell you so much. How pretty you are and how whenever you walk into the room it is like someone has turned on the sun, it gets so much brighter, warmer and everyone gravitates around you._

_It sound kind of silly, but I know you will be my life. I won't ever love anyone as much as I love you. But who knows what will happen if we have a fight or I mess up somehow. I want you to know no matter what, I want _you_ to be happy. _

_So don't feel bad if that means moving on. I know that sounds melodramatic and you will probably hit me for it, but still._

_Oh hey did you notice Nate and Caitlyn making eyes at each other? How long has that been going on? _

_But back to you; I hope you like the music box, I had to search for ages to find it but it was so worth it . I can't wait to see your face when you open it. Anyway I guess I'll say the rest when you open this._

_Love you always,_

_Shane._

The tears are falling thick and fast now.

Oh Shane, I'm not strong if you saw me now you wouldn't say any of that. If you could see me now you wouldn't be proud of me.

He wouldn't want me to be living like this; he would want me to be happy, to move on, to live. But he would be happy that Nate and Caitlyn seem to be getting their act together.

Thinking about them I try to hold on to the feeling I had earlier today. I guess the only way to recapture the feeling I had hanging out with Nate and Caitlyn is to hang out with them, I sigh and put the music box on my bedside table.

Well there is the movie night tomorrow, which should be fun.

_Well I guess all good things come to an end_

_You can never know what's around the bend_

_But even when it's over you'll stay with me_

_Forever and always, kept in my memory_

_I remember when you stole my heart_

_You smiled at me and that was the start_

_But I can't keep living this lie_

_It's time for me to let you die_

_So now I must keep moving on_

_And accept the fact that you are gone_

I can't help but cry thinking about all the things he wanted to tell me that I'll never hear…

I'm not sure how long I sit there crying and reading the letter but eventually I stop and wipe away the tears.

I guess now all I can do is take a step forward, but I smile, knowing that this is what he would have wanted.

* * *

Well I hope you all liked it. I think it finished things off better for Mitchie and hopefully answers all questions about how Shane died. It was really hard to come up with a good way for Shane to die so at least this way he died for something.

Oh and I am working on a new story My Mother's Daughter it is a Camp Rock cross Wizards of Waverly place if you are interested ask about it and it will be up way faster.

Well please review and have a good day.


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